Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Life at 25: A reflective piece by Prince Ajibola




"Today I turn 25, and instead of the usual celebrations, I find myself reflecting on the past present and future".




In this monologue editorial piece, Prince Ajibola shares his thought process on his birthday (July 30 , 1991) with his readers.

He opens up about the reality of his life at 25 in a bare it all reflective article of how he found himself in the quarter life crisis.

The objective of this piece is to connect the reader with the personality writing the series. It’s important for the readers to know that the author is far from being perfect and he himself is on a journey of self-discovery and trying to figure out the quarter life crisis. It's honest, it's deep and it promises to be a great read.


“I Woke Up In A Crisis at 25!”


Today I turn 25, and instead of the usual celebrations, I find myself reflecting on the past present and future. I am here thinking of all the little moments that brought me up till this point and at the same time, I find myself deliberating on the next few actions I plan to take to move me closer to achieving my dreams and aspirations.

This may sound funny, but while reflecting I catch myself talking to myself, not in a crazy hysterical way but similar to how some geniuses would lament and internally deliberate things on their mind(s). With that said, maybe it’s only natural for us as human beings to experience a little crazy before our inner true genius is found.

“FINDING MYSELF IN THE QUARTER-LIFE”


There are so many thoughts running through my mind. A whole bunch of could of, would of, should of and the big "what Ifs" are driving me crazy, causing a sort of crisis I've never experienced before. It’s almost maddening!

I know crisis seems like a very strong word to describe this but a crisis is defined as an unstable and dangerous situation. It is often not predictable and it creeps up on you like a thief in the night. And all this lamenting has thrown me in a very similar situation by the definition of the word. My mind, and heart aren’t settled as they are plagued by issues of the quarter life.

I woke up realising that a quarter of the years I have to live andmmake an impact in this world was gone forever, and maybe if I'm
lucky I'll live to see another quarter. The thought of this is
extremely scary because there is still so much for me to achieve
before that inevitable time comes.

I have dreams of travelling and exploring new things around the
globe. Dreams of becoming a positive impact on the world.
Dreams of making a difference!

Most pressing on my mind at the moment are my family,
travelling, building my career, and my financial status. For other’s
in similar shoes, the most pressing matters might be a slightly
different but mostly characteristic of the quarter life crisis.
If I may quote words from October’s very own lyrical genius,
Drake, the Canadian chocolate and vanilla macaroon rapper.
"We in the same building, but we got different views"

25 AND SEEKING EMPLOYMENT


Thankfully, I'm not jobless but I've noticed a very unhealthy
pattern. My flare for entrepreneurship wasn’t something I planned;
it was born out of a necessity to create my dream job. One
which would further build my people and inter-personal skills and
increase my business acumen, while giving me room to express
my creativity.

But as a consultant, I find myself constantly "in-between jobs"
leaving one job for another job and easily being carried away and
prioritising certain hobbies I'm passionate about as a career (kind
of like how one juggles multiple competitive sports).

As a self-branded Business and Brand Management Consultant,
sometimes I feel like Marty Kan and some days I feel like Homer
Simpson, kicking my legs up in the office with a box of pizza by
my side!

At the moment, I've been out of a full-time contract for nearly 6
months and I'm starting to wonder if the problem is me or the
job market. Although I think the problem I'm having has more to
do more with the kind of job and not just any job, I think you
would agree with me that finding a job or “contract” in modern
day Nigeria has just gotten 10 times as hard in this recession.

This may sound narcissistic but indulge me. Somehow, I'm able
to find some solace with 75% of the labour market out of work.
I think knowing I'm not the only person unemployed softens the
blow to my ego, and I believe sharing mutual burdens with
people makes you feel less like a victim but there is no
justification for why anyone should remain unemployed for too
long. Communal suffering is real and it happens every day in
Nigeria as the rich get richer, corruption increases and the poor
gets poorer.


FAILED RELATIONSHIPS.


As challenging as my search for a job has been, my love life isn't
anything to write home about either. The quest for love often
lands me in some very regrettable circumstances and before I
get enough time to heal I find myself making all the same
mistakes all over again. People often jump to the assumption
that I am a player, a heartless playboy but no one ever stops to
think of me as the victim. The broken-hearted one, scared by
failed attempts of finding true love and left with a complicated list
of broken relationships (the details of which aren't important
now).


How this happened, I don't know! But what I do know is that I
once dreamt of settling down at 25 with a baby mama and
Junior Jibbz running after me to play peek-a-boo with him and
her by now. And by this year's Halloween, we would have been
planning how to dress up as a vampire family or perhaps just
have Junior Jibbz dressed up as our personalised cute life-sized
Pikachu for Halloween.

Maybe that hasn't happened yet because I'm not yet a millionaire.
It’s hard to settle down when you are not financially stable. I
know of couples who have been "engaged" or "together" for years
and not ready for marriage due to their financial dispositions.
And although this isn’t the only reason I’ve stayed single I feel this
could be a large part of it.


OVERSHOT FINANCIAL PROJECTIONS.


I’ve always seen myself being a millionaire by 30. So at 25, it's
only normal to expect that I would at least be half way there but
unfortunately, it feels like I'm a long way off. I feel broker being
25, and in the work force, than I ever did while I was growing up
and in school.

This is most likely due to the pressures of paying bills, keeping
up appearances and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, as well as all
those other little expenses I didn't have to worry about while I
was in school.


WHO KNOWS HOW I FEEL?

I wonder if anyone knows what I'm going through. Is anyone out
there having these series of thoughts passing through their head?
I desperately want to know if anyone has ever felt fear and
anxiety like this (by fear I mean the fear of not knowing the exact
direction your life is headed and not knowing whether or not you
are on the right track).

It’s like setting your destination on a map and waking up to find
yourself in an opposite direction.

Look at me as a clear example, how did I end up ditching a life
of science for juggling multiple jobs in the world of business and
endless hustle and living failed relationships when I always
thought any girl would be lucky to have me.

Junior me would have slapped me in the face in mockery of what
I've become but the truth is Junior me hadn't experienced life the
way I have now. He only sat up in bed dreaming of a way to
escape his reality. Praying for greener pastures and a greater
future to come.

This right here is a crisis and all this anxiety and self-judgement
may and may not be healthy... But it is necessary for growth!
This thought process could either make you or break you. I can
see some people including myself succumbing in the depths of
deep depression, and anxiety induced stress but the time of
having a pity party when life doesn’t go your way is over.


SOBRIETY





At 25, I find myself experiencing this quarter life crisis and it feels
as if I’ve reached a tipping point! That point you know there’s no
going back… Kind of like the point when an eagle reaches the top
of a peak and decides to take a plunge and just either choosing
to crash or spreading its wings to soar just before it hits the
ground.

I’ve been through a lot in the quarter century I’ve spent on this
Earth. I've battled chronic depression and suffered an identity
crisis brought about by constantly changing environments. Things
have happened that shook the core of my very foundation. Things
that made me question my faith, my belief and almost ruined my
morality. The man writing this editorial might not have been here
if not for a little whisper on the wind and the discovery of the
kind of person he wanted to grow up to be.

Lucky for me, I’ve learnt that true joy comes from simply being
content while following your heart. Pretty much just going with
the flow of things, while doing what you love and feel is right.
Learning to enjoy life doesn’t begin with the accumulation of
wealth but by working with what you have and learning to live with
no regrets, not afraid to take chances, and by being ready to own
up to every re-action(s) to the action(s)/inaction(s) you choose to
make.

It also does a lot of good knowing that somethings can’t be
forced or rushed because there are some natural progressions in
life which are constant and trying to rush your way through this
progression won’t do you or anyone any good.


BEING A WORK IN PROGRESS DOES NOT EQUATE TO FAILURE



True success isn’t achieved at our destination but on the journey
to reaching our destination. The challenges we face and
overcome leads us to our greatness. It’s very easy for us to self-
impose targets and timelines, wanting to control every second of
time and then coming around to beat ourselves up when those
expectations aren’t met.

As human beings, we have to realise that we aren’t perfect and
that no one alive has mastered the art of perfection. What makes
us great is the number of times we get back up after a fall.
As humans, we face a lot of limitations, a limitation that doesn’t
make us less of a wonderfully and fearfully made creation but
limitations we just have to live with.

If you realise you’re not where you thought you would be At 25,
don’t worry too much about it because luckily your life isn’t over
and although you might not have achieved all of your hearts
desires, take solace that you still have an opportunity to turn
things around and that makes you a champion.
Prince Ajibola is a social entrepreneur who has been strategically
branded as a business and brand management consultant and an
emerging market expert.

During the day, He sits on the board of directors of several start-
ups and works as the Principle Consultant of PME Lagos, while
he doubles as a Writer, Creative Director, and an Event and Talent
Promoter in his leisure time!

As someone who believes that one’s passion and talent can be
harnessed and turned into wealth creation, Prince Ajibola enjoys
the perfect balance between business and entertainment!
loading...

No comments:

Post a Comment